The Prelude of my life...
Saturday, April 25, 2009
battle royale...
After the incident at your home, I was too ashame at myself to confront with you and contact you.
Felt like I can't forgive myself for what I did to you...eventhough there are somedays that I think you are trying to talk to me, trying to buzz me.. yet I didn't reply...
Actually, I've tried to build myself with some courage...but someway somehow, it's been stopped by those thoughts...and I just want you to know that it's not that I didn't want to keep in touch with you, it's just that I don't know how to confront you and also myself.
미안해...
Felt like I can't forgive myself for what I did to you...eventhough there are somedays that I think you are trying to talk to me, trying to buzz me.. yet I didn't reply...
Actually, I've tried to build myself with some courage...but someway somehow, it's been stopped by those thoughts...and I just want you to know that it's not that I didn't want to keep in touch with you, it's just that I don't know how to confront you and also myself.
미안해...
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Follow me?
Why must we follow others if in the first place, we did not wanted to...
Is it because of "kena jaga hati" kind of thingy?
It's ok if sometimes, we go out and agree with other people's choices, but how about ours then?
Is it because of "kena jaga hati" kind of thingy?
It's ok if sometimes, we go out and agree with other people's choices, but how about ours then?
...
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
바보 처럼...
What we're now, is the choices that we had made.
Thinking of that kind of statement, reminds me of what I did;what choices that I've made. Recapping for what I've been through, sometimes I feel regret for what I've done... It's like, why in the first place I did not go into this...or take that... etc..
Seeing other people's background, somewhere somehow, it feels like I'm very small, ikan bilis and s.t.u.p.i.d....
I can't go back to the past now, can't I?
Thinking of that kind of statement, reminds me of what I did;what choices that I've made. Recapping for what I've been through, sometimes I feel regret for what I've done... It's like, why in the first place I did not go into this...or take that... etc..
Seeing other people's background, somewhere somehow, it feels like I'm very small, ikan bilis and s.t.u.p.i.d....
I can't go back to the past now, can't I?
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Please...
When you are so tired to think about anything or any decisions that you have to make, you will tend to think it in a shortcut way.
I feel like I just want to end all the things that I've encounter with quitting on all I have had or just get out from what I am into now.
Just quit, go back and resign, seek and just grab anything infront of you rather you are still here and in the same time you cannot grab a lot of inputs, and in the end you will be sending back home! Senang, semua orang pun senang hati although I will be the only one who will be suffering in the end of the day...
*sigh*
I don't know how to say it anymore...
I have already told yet it is still the same...
I know that it was not a good idea before, but then how am I supposed to do???
Everything is in His hand...
I have confess everything...
Please just let me free for the time being...
I feel like I just want to end all the things that I've encounter with quitting on all I have had or just get out from what I am into now.
Just quit, go back and resign, seek and just grab anything infront of you rather you are still here and in the same time you cannot grab a lot of inputs, and in the end you will be sending back home! Senang, semua orang pun senang hati although I will be the only one who will be suffering in the end of the day...
*sigh*
I don't know how to say it anymore...
I have already told yet it is still the same...
I know that it was not a good idea before, but then how am I supposed to do???
Everything is in His hand...
I have confess everything...
Please just let me free for the time being...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
What I wanted so much despite others....
Maybe I don't have the chance to do like others...
The jealousy of seeing other people that have made it to be a 'dream come true'...burns-up my spirit to be like one of them...
and this thing had been in my mind since God knows...
It's just because I'm here, it might be a bit hard to join into anykind of the so-called 'program ' since I have several things that might be the main barrier for me to move on...
If I'm good enough for all that, I will be looking forward on it...although it will be a bit hard here...
but...
If I'm not here, I'm willing to spend for the whole thing now...because I know that it will satisfy a lot of things inside and outside of me...
and I don't like to wait because of this d.i.y. thingy is hard to manage, late results and sometimes its damn sucks...
Other than that?
I totally hate it when people mention and sometimes they just keep mentioning about it...even until now...because I think what I've did before still did not reach the target yet or make others to be totally 'stunt' after seeing it.
The jealousy of seeing other people that have made it to be a 'dream come true'...burns-up my spirit to be like one of them...
and this thing had been in my mind since God knows...
It's just because I'm here, it might be a bit hard to join into anykind of the so-called 'program ' since I have several things that might be the main barrier for me to move on...
If I'm good enough for all that, I will be looking forward on it...although it will be a bit hard here...
but...
If I'm not here, I'm willing to spend for the whole thing now...because I know that it will satisfy a lot of things inside and outside of me...
and I don't like to wait because of this d.i.y. thingy is hard to manage, late results and sometimes its damn sucks...
Other than that?
I totally hate it when people mention and sometimes they just keep mentioning about it...even until now...because I think what I've did before still did not reach the target yet or make others to be totally 'stunt' after seeing it.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Self Study II
Sometimes, when I recap of what I had did before, I laugh at myself.
I know it's not good to have that kind of 'act' or behaviour. I need to solve this matter on my own. It's just sometimes when it comes to a certain part, suddenly that kind of act will burst out with no control.
I realize that we can't have that kind of 'thingy' in ourselves because sooner or later it will become a parasite to you.
*sigh*
I know it's not good to have that kind of 'act' or behaviour. I need to solve this matter on my own. It's just sometimes when it comes to a certain part, suddenly that kind of act will burst out with no control.
I realize that we can't have that kind of 'thingy' in ourselves because sooner or later it will become a parasite to you.
*sigh*
Thursday, February 12, 2009
2nd thought..
I think that I don't want to go back...
Staying here...and live happily here...
See how it goes la...
Staying here...and live happily here...
See how it goes la...
